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SEC: We Love Crypto More than Satoshi and Vitalik Combined

“To be honest, we did not notice it in the beginning, but when we did, our big boss wanted (from the bottom of his heart) to let it have the time to grow. It was more of a fattening the lamb, before the slaughter kind of thing.” said, SEC

SEC: We Love Crypto

The United States has become the hub of blockchain innovation 

Within years and home to some of the brightest crypto projects. 

However, we forget to give due credit to the biggest promotors of the blockchain industry in the United States. Before you get confused about the names, let us tell you it is none other than the United States Security and Exchange Council. 

This might be a surprising revelation for most of you, but thanks to the extremity of our investigative journalism, we figured out the exact reasons crypto is the first love of SEC. 

As per unreliable sources, since the start of blockchain technology and the development of Bitcoin, SEC was optimistic about its future. That is why it never tried to intervene or create laws about industry regulation when things could be much easier to modulate. In the words of an insider, 

“To be honest, we did not notice it in the beginning, but when we did, our big boss wanted (from the bottom of his heart) to let it have the time to grow. It was more of a fattening the lamb, before the slaughter kind of thing.”

Ripple: Gary’s First Love

But the utter love from SEC out-poured Ripple Labs Inc. when its commander-in-chief took the charge of contributing more towards the project. Mr. Gary Gensler unaidedly declared XRP as securities on behalf of anyone who is truly qualified to do so. In one of the personal conversations with Gary, he shared his deep love for the project, 

“I love Ripple more than Chris Larsen, but they don’t seem to believe me. I was simply trying to ensure that they had the regulations in place to maximize their future potential. Unfortunately, my words were misinterpreted. To be honest, I just wanted to make some headlines before I retired from my job. I’m glad that Ripple could help me do that.”

Paxos: A Personal Project for Stablecoins

Even though SEC monitors the activity of more than 28,000 entities in the American economy, days were getting boring in their offices. Then suddenly they decided that a stablecoin, which is directly pegged to the U.S. dollar and whose price changes only if the price of the dollar changes, is an investment security. 

SEC brought Paxos to court for a friendly conversation which is expected to go on for some time. Updating media about their steps, SEC said, 

“We love crypto. We truly do. See, Satoshi never revealed their identity and Vitalik is just a college kid. They don’t talk about crypto as much as we do and that simply means that we love crypto more than Satoshi and Vitalik combined. We are like guardians of crypto, bringing it to the light, giving the right exposure.”

These statements are not very much appreciated in the crypto community as people feel SEC is going a bit extra. Crypto needs a break from SEC for some time as too much sweetness can lead to diabetes.

To keep reading more such satirical news, keep following CoinGabbar. And, don’t forget to share your views in the comments down below. 

Also, Read - YouTube Appointed a Web3-friendly Leader as their New CEO

Disclaimer: Posts or stories may or may not use real names, always in substantially fictitious ways. Any resemblance to the truth or actual facts or to reality is purely coincidental, except for references to famous persons and/or public figures, in which case such stories may be based on real people, but the story, or stories, surrounding or about these people or figures are entirely fictional and are intended as satire and entertainment. In short, please don’t sue us. 

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